


Zombies and South Park... Terrific

by anxiouspastalover



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst and Humor, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Character Death, Eric Cartman Being An Asshole, F/M, Game Theory References, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Immortal Kenny McCormick, M/M, Multi, Reader-Insert, Sad Eric Cartman, Sarcasm, Senior year, The Author Regrets Nothing, Zombies, clyde is sad, i killed a few people, kenny is a hoe, nerd reader, reader is a science nerd, reader is now a babysitter, whoops, yay senior year, zombie nerd
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:35:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24114379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiouspastalover/pseuds/anxiouspastalover
Summary: *Characters are in high school and takes place during the zombie apocalypse*You had just moved to South Park, now in your senior year of high school. You're parents thought it would be a fun change of scenery.And then they were eaten in front of you... fuck this.You don't know where to go and you don't have a lot of options. Next thing you know, you're babysitting two freshman and a middle schooler.goddammit.This is a fic where the characters that I chose will be in their senior year in high school when the zombie apocalypse broke out. Before running into them, you get to babysit some of their siblings! yaaaaaay
Relationships: Clyde Donovan/Reader, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Eric Cartman/Reader, Kenny McCormick/Reader, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Leopold "Butters" Stotch/Reader, Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger
Comments: 11
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was gonna continue my other book, but I dunno what to write currently... that and I like zombies a lot so here you go. If you have trouble with death and angst.. then I suggest to continue with caution or not read this. Thanks!

_Breathing heavily, covered in blood, standing in front of a group of three._

_You had just smashed in another rotting skull, you aren't sure how much you'd be able to take this._

_The death of your parents are still fresh in your head. It's only been three days since you watched your parents eaten alive in front of you. Their blood spilt trying to protect you, leaving you sobbing in your room alone for 2 days._

_You didn't believe you had anything to live for, but you found two scared teens and a middle schooler in need of protection._

_Guess you're the new babysitter... How did this happen?_

You were watching the scenery pass quickly through the window while your mom drove. Your dad was following behind with a moving van.

Your parents had recently broken the news to you, you were moving to South Park... Whoot whoot.. You didn't care that much, you were going to end up leaving the nest after this school year anyways. All you had to do was survive this mountain town for a year and then you could move wherever.

You began to doze off, your eyes drooping while your mom sang along to the radio, growing tired of the nonstop driving. But as your eyes were just about to close, your parents pulled into the driveway of your new home.

It wasn't that big, but it wasn't tiny. The house seemed old, vines growing peacefully on the cracked stone of the porch. You imagined a small garden that could be grown in the front during spring. It could use a paint job as well, with the way the old paint chipped.

You dragged yourself out of the car, going to help bring in the boxes. But your parents handed you a broom and dust pan, telling you to go sweep up any dirt or cobwebs instead.

You grabbed the broom, unlocking the door with the spare key your dad gave you. The door creaked open slowly, dragging itself across the old, wooden tiles. You stepped inside and turned the lights on, entering into, what was supposedly, the living room. To the side was a couple of wooden stairs leading up to the next floor.

Your parents cheerfully chatted as they brought boxes into the house, happily placing them in their respective rooms. Boxes soon began to pile up in each of the rooms as you finished sweeping out unwanted dust bunnies.

You headed into the kitchen, placing the broom into the corner. You started with the closest box and started unpacking the kitchen items. 

You were in the middle of unpacking the pots and pans when you started to think about school. Part of you still couldn't comprehend the fact that you've already made it to senior year. You weren't sure how you felt about the thought of soon leaving the comforting arms of your parents to live on your own. School started on monday, your parents deciding to move in during the weekend before.

You heard your dad call out to someone, at first it was him trying to greet new neighbors. But then it felt off, the way your dad was trying to ask if whoever he was talking to was okay, groans being the only response.

Thinking that you were probably overreacting, you continued unpacking, but your gripped only seemed to tighten around the frying pan you were currently holding. Then everything went to shit.

You heard your mother's screams, you didn't let go of the pan as you ran to the front of the door. 

The man your dad was talking to was on top of him... ripping out his insides. You screamed, catching its attention. 

Was.. Was that a zombie? But that wouldn't be possible.. or at least you thought, but it's rotting flesh hung off its face as its jaws widened. You began to think of the one episode of game theory that proved that zombies are possible with the right mix of illnesses and blah blah... fuck this, dude.

Your dad was on the ground, his blood was everywhere, standing out in the snow. He twitched and started to groan, turning as well. 

Everything happened so fast, your mom pushed you out of the way when the screeching corpse came for you. Your mom was then on the ground with her neck getting ripped out.

**Wait.. No no no nO NO NO NO. This can't happen, this isn't possible! NO they can't leave you alone! Not like this.. not like this.. NO!**

You gripped the frying pan in your hand, smashing it down into the corpse that was currently ripping out your mother's lungs. You hit them again..

And again..

**And Again**

There was blood all over your hands, you could see your mother's still corpse underneath you as well.. You must have hit her too..

Then you heard groaning of, what used to be, your father.. god no.. you can't handle this..

You let out a sobbed scream as you brought the pan to the side of his skull, smashing into it until he stilled.

..

...

You fell to the ground, clutching on to yourself. You screamed while letting out a sob.. You had just moved here.. Wouldn't you have heard something on the radio or news?? Are you alone..?

You heard more groans heading your way, standing up with, what felt like, all your strength. You went to run inside but stopped when you caught sight of your mother's necklace. It was the locket she always wore with a picture of you, her and your father inside.

You quickly went to her side and gently removed the necklace, wiping away the blood staining its golden outside. You hooked it around your neck, running into the house, slamming and locking the door behind you.

You ran up the stairs, locking yourself in, what was supposed to be, your bedroom. Your back faced the door as you slid down to the ground.. Why did they have to leave you..? Why did you have to be **alone?**

You pulled out your phone, just now noticing alerts coming in at the speed of sound. You clicked on a live news report, watching as the reporter was attacked and eaten on camera, leaving only the screaming of people.

You don't think you can handle this.. but you can't let your parents death be for nothing.. but what can you do? Where can you go?

**What's the point?**

All you could do is let out a sob as you curled into yourself.. letting yourself drift away into a slumber..

\------

You had spent two days in your room before you decided that you would live on in the name of your parents. They died for you so you'll live for them...

You rummaged through the boxes in your house.. If you were going to survive, you'll need a plan.

You grabbed the road map your parents brought with them, spreading it across the ground and grabbing a red sharpie. You bit off the cap, quickly using your phone to google the distance between South Park, Colorado and Norfolk County, Ontario. You remembered the episode from game theory that listed it as the safest place to go. Other fans might head there as well, but that is also taking in consideration that all of them make it there alive.. 

You wrote on the map, highlighting the roads and drawing a straight line that connects the two points as well. The driving distance, following the roads, is 1535.23 miles, going in a straight line being 1345.07 miles. You'll have to keep in mind that you might end up walking part of the way, roads may be blocked or there might be large groups of zombies. Not to mention, gas won't always be available.

It will only take seven days for the virus spread across about 50% of America, about a month before everything is wiped out.. South Park would be a good place to stay, with the weather and small population, but zombies with most likely start heading any way possible, eventually leading to South Park.. Even if you manage to wipe out all the zombies in this town, there's no telling when more will come and how many there will be..

You took a small notebook, writing down a checklist of things you'll need...

Bugspray, clothes, water.. lots of water and canned foods... Hygiene stuff.. deodorant, toothbrush and toothpaste, 3 in 1 blah blah blah

You continued writing everything that came to mind. Luckily you were a nerd for zombie related content, thinking and rethinking of things characters could've done to survive. Ahh.. when overthinking is actually handy for once..

You grabbed a small backpack while packing things you currently had at hand. You had a few canned goods and packs of snacks and candy due to you having a road trip up until now.. Along with a pack of bottled water.. but you'll need more. You might as well pack a few water bottles and but the rest int the car, that way it's already there, or if not possible to make it back, you still have some water.

You took your bag, slinging it around your shoulder. You had recently put on a sweater and coat, along with a scarf and hat to deal with the cold weather. You were planning to take the car, but you'll need to grab more gas. Instead of wasting your current gas, you plan to go out and find a gas station and then bring the gas back. 

You grabbed another frying pan, larger than the one you had used to.. well.. yeah..

You're gonna go Tangled on these bitches.. 

Quietly opening the front door, you looked through the small crack you made, checking for zombies. It seemed to be safe so it's now or never..

You closed the door behind you, avoiding the corpses of your parents, all while holding back tears... You can do this..

You ran through the snow, trying to be as quiet as possible.. the crunching of the snow is fucking helping though..

you can do this.. you can do this.. **You will do this**

You passed houses, hearing groans from here and there. You've made it quite the distance.. although you are doing this blind, you don't know where anything is or what stores or places are even here.. 

It's all going well.. or at least you're not dead yet.. haha.. oof.. 

...

....

And then you heard a girl screaming for help.

**Oh for fucks sake**


	2. Great now I'm a babysitter too?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're going back to the very beginning where it mentioned the group of three. That's right, we're meeting some peeps today..  
> also we get to meet one of my favorite characters <33333

You weren't sure whether or not you should go towards the yell for help, the girl may be dead already... But then you heard another two people and they all sounded like kids.. You can't always be a hero but..

**oh fuck it**

You ran towards the yells for help, gripping the frying pan a little harder. You found yourself being led to the back of an alley, where a group of three seemed to be cornered by a couple of zombies.

Two of them were girls who looked a little younger than you.. Maybe freshman or sophomores? One had lighter brown hair, wearing an orange parka while carrying a smaller boy. The boy may be in middle school at most, with black hair and a blue hoodie. The other girl had orange hair while wearing a blue hat with a yellow puffball on the top, clutching a.. was that a fucking katana?? And did she have a guinea pig in her pocket.??

About five zombies were cornering them while katana girl was trying her best to kill them off.. Well you came here to help so you might as well help..

You ran forward and smashed the skull of the zombie closest to you. Then you smashed in the one next to it. Katana over here managed to kill the one near her and then the one near orange coat girl.. You finished off the last zombie before facing the group.

...

....

"Who the fuck are you?" katana spoke up while orange coat and blue hoodie gawked at you.. well nice to meet you too, katana.

"Uh.. I just moved here.. my name's (Y/n)..." you lowered your scarf to show your face, cheeks flushed from the cold, "uh are you guys okay?"

This time orange coat spoke up, "I'm.. I'm Karen.. Karen Mccormick.." she looked over to katana before continuing, "My friend is Tricia and I'm currently holding Ike."

Ike waved at you while Tricia glared at you suspiciously. Karen gave you a nervous smile as you awkwardly twirled the pan in your hand.

"Well Imma go ahead and head out before this place is raided or attacked by a larger group of zombies.. uh nice.. to meet you.. bye." you gave an awkward wave before turning to walk away, but Karen quickly called out your name.

"Um.. where are you going? Like.. is there someplace safe that you know of?" Karen asked while Ike continued to hang on to her. Tricia looked over to Karen questionably.

"Uh.. I'm heading to Norfolk County, Ontario.. I watched a game theory.. err.." god you are really fucking awkward.. "It's supposed to be the safest.. if I get there and create a safe space, it's my greatest chance at survival.." you awkwardly rubbed the blood on your hands off on your clothes.

"Could we go with you?" Karen asked, nearly making you jump. What are you supposed to do with two teens and a middle schooler?? Even Tricia looked over at Karen in surprise. 

"What about the others?" Tricia looked towards Karen as you awkwardly shifted from one foot to another. 

"(Y/n) can join our group.. They seem to have a plan and we might as well stick together," Karen quickly explained, shifting Ike in her arms.

"But first we have to find them!" Ike chimed in.. Wait.. what?

"Uhh.. I would need a larger car then.. how many people are you with?" you might as well, but how old are the others? Are you going to have to babysit more middle schoolers? Are they with adults??

"I'm not sure.. we got seperated, so I don't know how many of us are left.. We were all supposed to meet up at my house, so they might be there." Tricia answered. 

Alright so.. You just gotta meet these people and not die in the process.. easy..

"First I have to get gas.. so if you know where a gas station is that would be helpful. Then we can head back to where my car is and drive to Tricia's house." you suggested. Karen nodded, looking to Tricia for her response.

"Okay.. that works. We'll just have to be careful, I don't know how many people decided to stop there during the outbreak." Tricia agreed. Ike nodded along, but you're not sure he actually cares as long as he doesn't get eaten.

Karen looked tired of holding Ike, but you could tell that the little dude was scared. Her, already thin, arms were shaking. Deciding that you'd might as well pitch in, if you're gonna babysit you're not gonna let one of them collapse within the first ten minutes.

"Yo, Ike, if you wanna wear my backpack, I'll go ahead and carry you on my back. That way Karen can arm herself as well, you'll have to hold on though." you suggested. 

Ike nodded and hopped down from Karen's arms, running over to you. Karen sent you a grateful smile as you gave Ike your small backpack. You hoisted him onto your back, reminding him to hold on so you could also fight.

Tricia began to lead you all to the nearest gas station. Karen walked by your side, telling you all about her brother, Kenny, who was also a senior. You quietly listened while keeping eyes out for any rotting corpses.

You could hear Ike humming softly next to your ear. You felt a smile grow behind your scarf. You had something to protect now, whether it just being a group of three kids, or possibly others as well. You weren't alone, even if you didn't know them. You're going to protect them and get them to Canada, or you're going to die trying.

\-----

Tricia managed to get you all the station fairly quickly. 

You gripped your frying pan, slowly walking towards the front doors. You could hear the groans of zombies, but there didn't sound like there were many.

You swung the door open, hustling inside while keeping in mind that Ike was on your back. You swiftly walked through the aisles, watching for any corpses ready to pounce. You went to the check out, going into the 'employee only' room. You found extra gallons of gas, grabbing one and putting another one under your arm. 

heading out of the room, you went to the snack aisle. You quickly put Ike down, unzipping the back and putting in as many snacks and candy you could fit before zipping the bag back up and having Ike jump back on. They weren't the healthiest, but they won't go bad.

Ike pointed to a big bag of pretzels that you assumed he wanted, grabbing it and handing it to him to hold it. You picked up the gas and your frying pan before heading out the door, luckily avoiding any zombies. Why fight when you don't gotta?

When you made it out, Karen and Tricia were waiting for you. 

"Alright, I'll lead us back to my place, get the car, and head to Tricia's." you spoke up and the girls nodded.

\----

It didn't take long to get back, you did have to smash some skulls in though.

Luckily you saw your car just as you began to get overly tired of carrying Ike. Just because you played zombie games as fit characters, didn't mean you were fit yourself. You were like Columbus from Zombieland, not Tallahassee.

You pulled out your car keys from your jacket pocket, getting ready to head over to wherever Tricia lived, that is, before Karen spoke up.

"Hey.. isn't that Butter's house?" Karen asked while looking at the house right next to yours.

Butters..? Like is that his actual name?? Whatever, not like it has anything to do with you.. or so you thought.

Because now Karen was pleading you to see if Butters was still walking and talking.. apparently he's a friend of Kenny.

You sighed and put Ike down, quickly putting the extra gas in the trunk. 

"Alright, everyone in the car, I'll go see if the dude is alive, and if he is, I'll drag his ass along." You agreed and Karen quickly gave you a hug of gratitude before following your directions.

You walked up the steps, gently knocking on the door. You heard a few groans in response.. that's not good.

You gripped the door handle, realizing it was unlocked, softly pushing it open.

And then a zombie tried to take a chunk out of your face.. **oh shit dude.**

You slammed the pan into the zombie's head, oh that was a nice blow. Fuck ya.

"Uh.. Hello? anybody like.. yanno.. alive?" you called out. You're pretty sure you heard a small hello from upstairs.. so I guess up the stairs we goooo.

When you made your way up the stairs, you found a couple of bedrooms.. deciding to call out again.

"Hewo?.. haha.. ugh.. I'm looking for a dude named Butters. Karen wanted me to check cuz she said he's a friend of Kenny..?" you heard the shuffling of feet.

"Hello..?" a hand grabbed your shoulder.. and you screamed.

"Holy fuck dude! You trying to get me to- oh shit! Bro don't cry..!" you awkwardly held the pan midair as.. er.. Butters gave out a teary sorry.

"I just thought everyone was dead! Wait.. who are you?" you were pretty sure he was going to hug you.. until he realized that he didn't know you.

"Uh.. I'm (Y/n).. I'm new in town.." this was gonna be fun.


End file.
